Ok so I know I sounded pitiful & desperate in my last post & I guess I was but probably not in the reason you're thinking, or in the reason I said. Let me clarify.
When I said I was on a week long binge it wasn't in the traditional sense of binging. Since I had the lapband I can't really go on a true binge where I eat tons of food at one sitting like I used to be able to do (Thank God). These past two weeks or so I have been binging but in a different way.
See, a lot of people have trigger foods that start them down the road of a true binge, and so far I'm not sure if I have a certain food, but what I do know is that eating out is my nemesis. I don't really know how to explain this. I LOVE to go out to eat, and it's really not all about the food. For me eating out gives me a sense of feeling "normal". I know that may sound weird to some people but it's true. I know that this is a psychological thing inside of me & it probably stems from the fact that growing up we were pretty strapped for money. My mom was a single mom & she raised me & my sister on one income with no child support & needless to say that strict budget did NOT include going out to eat, like never, not even to McDonald's. So I guess you could say as an adult I look at going out to eat as a sign that I'm ok. I'm not struggling, I'm "normal". Does that make senese?
Since starting back to school full time I've had to stop working & that means we're down to one income & on that strict budget guess what got cut out? Yep, eating out. Now that actually turned out to be a really good thing b/c it forced me to make all of our meals & probably facilitated the good decisions I was able to make b/c I didn't have the temptation of eating out. Buuuuttt a few weeks ago we got a little thing called a tax refund & now that I have a bit of money guess what I've been doing? Eating out every chance I get!! That is where my binge comes in. It's not binging in the sense of eating too much food, but more of eating the WRONG food at EVERY meal. So I guess you could say my problem really isn't with the food as much as it is with the money, which I know is a totally different problem not covered on this blog. But in a sense the two are tied together & it's not good.
Soooo, I got on the scale this morning & saw that it's actually 5 lbs that I've gained back, but still a gain is a gain & it's very disappointing. Also my own lack of self control is disappointing. But the good thing is that I know that I can do this, I mean I did it for over 60 days & did a great job at it. I've just got to find my way back, and I will, starting today!!
Thanks for the encouraging comments.